


Walking into death to get you

by 0Hedvig0



Series: Childhood friends [6]
Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Struggle, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28477926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0Hedvig0/pseuds/0Hedvig0
Summary: His throat was sore with all the shouting, but he wouldn't stop. As long as he had a beating heart, it was enough to keep him going.
Relationships: Eivor/Vili, Eivor/Vili Hemmingson, Male Eivor/Vili Hemminson
Series: Childhood friends [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042719
Comments: 7
Kudos: 48





	1. Dread capturing the heart

**Author's Note:**

> This going to be a two part story, because my writers block is f*cking with me and I keep going back/get unhappy with it. Which in the end will keep me from publish, and I want to publish so y'all have something to read.
> 
> I feel kinda lonely in this ship, so it would be kind of you to leave something if you liked what you read *insert blushing emoji*.
> 
> ____________________  
> Njord= god of the sea, weather, wealth, trade, shipping and fishing. He was often worshiped by fishermen, sailors and merchants. A highly respected god, who was hailed at many places of worship in Sweden and Norway.
> 
> _______________________
> 
> Just written down, makes sense in my head and now published so please have that in mind ^^',
> 
> But other than that, please enjoy :)
> 
> This is hastily written (I have art and writers block)  
> English not my first language  
> Not beta read, I'm just writing for fun.

The departure to Norway had gone smoothly and sailing over a sea mirroring the sun and sky, they soon found themselves hoping for a blessed journey. Which it was, at first, but nearing what before was seen as home, the prayers to Njord increased.

In the end, dark billowing clouds bringing Thor’s punishment forced Eivor to steer the longboat into one of the many bays along the coasts. But, before even dockning somewhere, the rain soon mutated into a storm of snow and wind cold as ice. Loud voices were trying to be heard over the roaring of the wind while maneuvering the longboat, but words were carried away with it and they could barely see their own hands stretched in front of them.

Grabbing whatever necessary, they quickly vacated the longboat to find some shelter in the mountains and formed a chain with Eivor in front and Vili at the back- everyone having a tight grip on the cloak of the one in front of them.

Eivor’s eyes burned by the cold and snow digging into his face- needing to keep his eyes open to see where he was leading his crew- but he pushed forward and when walking for a time he strangely enough started to recognize the surroundings. There was the rock looking like a hare, and when turning his head he saw the small river- looking a lot smaller than when he was little. Yes, this was his and Vili’s hiding spot, which means that there should be a bigger cave close by.

Driven by sudden hope, Eivor pushed forward with renewed energy and sure enough, there was the cave. He stood by the opening, waving his hand -to show the others to walk in before him- and when the last of them was counted, Eivor turned his head towards Bjorn with a grave look on his face.

“Where’s Vili?” Bjorn's been the one walking in front of the other vikingr. When the quizzical look appeared on the otherwise unreadable face, Eivor turned fully towards the bigger man “Did you lose him?!” his sane mind was blown away with the storm - still going on with full force outside. 

Some of the crew appeared in front of Eivor, like they were trying to calm him down, but he couldn’t figure out why. He’d only asked a question to the other man.

“I felt him pulling my cloak when walking up the mountain” Bjorn murmured and straightened when Eivor took a step towards him, where hands grasped at Eivors shoulders to keep him from approaching the berserker.

“You- you” Eivor growled angrily and pushed harsly at the hands on his shoulders- making the ones holding him to stumble back by the force- then turned around while resting his hands on head. Eyes with the same bluish color as the ice, stared at the storm roaring outside with a calculating look in them.

Like sensing Eivor’s motive before even acting on it, Rollo grabbed at his arm with a firm grip, not letting his Jarl run out to his death.

“Don’t you even dare to do what I think you’ll do” Rollo said gruffly with his eyes fixed on Eivor profile- watching the jaw clench on the blonde man and eyes turn more determined. “You’re my Jarl, I won’t let you walk into self-slaughter”, but Eivor yanked his arms out of Rollo’s grip without meeting his eyes.

“Being a Jarl isn’t worth shite if Vili dies without me trying”.

When Eivor’s words quiet down, they were met by a deafening silence, even with the tunes of the wind echoing in the cave. Everyone’s focus was on the two arguing men, one of them their Jarl who was going to sacrifice his life for one of the crew. But almost everyone agreed with Rollo, even if they admired their Jarl’s dedication to the crew. 

The ones - more observant ones- not agreeing with Rollo knew about the bond between Eivor and Vili and respected his decision to at least try to search and save. They knew they themselves would do the same, if their loved one would be the one missing. Therefore, they gathered the equipment needed and handed it to Eivor who pulled on the thicker cloak and stashed the supplies under it. 

Without a word, Eivor gave them all one last look, then cloaked and strode out into the storm- engulfed by the white color of falling snow.

***

Shouting Vili’s name had left Eivor’s voice hoarse and throat sore- and the cold wasn’t making it better- but he kept going without a care. The snow was still falling with a violent force, which left him not seeing anything where he desperately stumbled forward -digging his feet through deep snow and pulling branches out of his way.

A sound pierced through the storm and into his eardrums. At first Eivor thought he’d imagined it, but then Sunin was suddenly perched onto his shoulder- huddling close to escape the snow- and a large smile appeared on Eivor’s lips.

“My friend, you’re here” the raven nuzzled its beak against Eivor’s cheek- which was turning into an unhealthy color. He’d believed Sunin found some cover, because the raven usually avoided being in storms like these. “I know I’m asking for a lot, but please, friend, find Arse-stick” Eivor murmured - voice shivering by cold- while brushing his nose along the black feathers on Sunin’s head.

Sunin cawed in his face - sounding like he became upset Eivor believed he wouldn’t help- and took his leave into the sky.

“Be my eyes, my friend” Eivor mumbled at the black dot that soon disappeared within the snow and a loud sound was heard again, giving him direction on which way to take.

***

With Sunin’s help it became easier to navigate through the terrain, easier but the storm was still slowly killing Eivor. Fingers and toes were numb by now and his muscles ached by exertion and Eivor’s could feel the fatigue gripping its claws in his body. But his mind was set, he was never giving up. As long as his heart was beating, he would continue. 

Eivor came to a sudden stop when Sunin landed on a branch in front of him. With a confused face he twisted and turned to see where they were and at the same time tried to understand why the raven stopped. That’s when he noticed the mountain wall and then what seemed to be a small opening -or more like a bigger crack- in it.

A soft gasp escaped Eivor -eyes widening with recognition and heart beating faster- by the look of deep red fabric and he rushed towards it, stumbling over bricks and stones. Closing in Eivor observed the opening more closely and it seemed to be big enough to crawl into.

“Vili?” Eivor repeated his name over and over again while kneeling and crawling into the cracked opening. His voice wavered when seeing the too pale face - laying on his back with his head turned to the opening- but still repeating Vili’s name, Eivor cupped the face between his numb hands. 

With no response to his voice, Eivor carefully shook the head to get a reaction. But, when the silence and lack of movements continued he checked his neck- Valka talking about feeling something pounding in there- and even if his fingers stung by the cold, he noticed the faint pounding against them. 

Eivor pulled off one of his cloaks and maneuvered it under Vili’s head.

“Okay, okay” Eivor breathed frantically while trying to gather some kind of plan in his head “I need- I need to. Yes!” and his hands flew to the stuff he brought with him and took every fabric there was -his own thicker cloak too- and stuffed Vili to keep him from going any colder.

The next thing Eivor did was to gather things to start a fire and when he had that one going -struggling with wet wood brought burning rage into his body- he built a wall of snow in the opening to keep the cold wind away from them. 

“Looking good enough” Eivor mumbled at the wall while making a hole for the smoke from the fireplace to escape through. But, the feeling of relief was squished when one glance at Vili told Eivor that what he’d done wasn’t enough. The face was still too pale and his lips had started to turn blue.

Eivor fell back with a groan and leaned against the wall when he realized he was back at square one. He grabbed at his hair by frustration- fingers digging into the skull- while trying to come up with another plan, but the fatigue and lack of body heat was affecting him. Eivor stilled when something came to mind.

“Body heat” Eivor murmured and glanced at the heap of fabric surrounding Vili - easing the grip and lowering his hands from the hair. Fabric which was cold and Vili was cold, which meant the fabric didn’t have any effect at all. But, Eivor wasn’t cold - at least he was warmer than fabric. 

There was no time to waste and Eivor quickly saw to the fire to secure it would keep burning for a while, then shredded his clothes to lay it out on the chilly stone floor- warm skin twitching by the sudden frosty air. Then it was Vili’s turn and with delicate hands -as delicate a vikingr can be with calloused and big hands- Eivor removed one clothing after another until Vili was lying on a bed of fabric with their cloaks as blankets.

Eivor poked at the fire once more before joining the other man under the cloaks- a low swearing leaving his lips when he was struck by the cold skin against his own. He arranged their positions to have Vili’s head resting on his shoulder and body slung over Eivor’s, it was a heavy duty, but he was willing to do it.

Letting out a sigh, Eivor finally had the time to find his thoughts again while he willed his body to get warmer to help the other man. His eyes strayed to the ceiling as his hands found something to do- one brushing the brown tufts of hair and the other caressing up and down the arm slung over his stomach. The shallow puffs of air brushing at his skin was all he could focus on- his lips forming the word ‘now’ for each breath- and he ignored the sting in his eyes, blaming it on the lack of sleep. Eivor couldn’t show any weaknesses, not now when-

But, they were alone, Eivor then realized in his tired haze. There was no one here seeing the emotions flooding the eyes of the blonde vikingr. No one could hear the sound of his sniffle, sounding loud in the cramped place. No one could see the tears rolling down, making a shiny path on the skin. No one could hear his soft prayers to keep Vili alive, to bring him to an awake state. No one could see him bring the other man into his arms, holding him tightly as his face buried itself into Vili’s neck- staining the other man’s skin with tears. No one but him and Vili was there to witness the scene going on.


	2. The battle beneath the wall of skin and bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To others Eivor was a bloodthirsty heathen, a fearless leader, someone not from this world, and with Vili he was all that. Asking Vili to join the Raven Clan was the best decision he’d ever made- he felt it deep inside his heart- because since joining Eivor had found a strength he never knew he had. 
> 
> But with time and new experiences influencing, Eivor had gotten another understanding- the longer they spent time together. That seeing, hearing or just being near him, Eivor also was the weakest there is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author ramble:  
> First of all... thanks to you leaving kudos and those cute comments, they did a lot with my motivation to write :).  
> Second... okay this may be a jumble of crap (what I've written), but to me Eivor struggles (with a lot) and that's hard to write. To me it isn't logic to not suffer what he's been through and in this chapter he shows that he struggles with coming to peace with mind and heart (his thoughts ruining it with a darkness that has taken its place in him). He tries to deny his emotions, but Vili is special (yeah y'all know it ;) ) and he keeps breaking Eivor out of his thoughts and lets him be... yeah, just be him I guess.
> 
> But, either way, I hope y'all like it. More content on its way (I have another part that I've written, but not sure if I should post it. We'll see)  
> ___________________________  
> Helheim(Hel)= it is the realm of the dead and in Helheim reigns the goddess of death Hel, the daughter of Loki and the giantess Angerboda.  
> Helheim is described as cold and dark. It is located in Nifelheim, at the lowest point in the universe of Nordic mythology. No one can ever leave Helheim, because the river Gjöld, which flows from Hvergelmir and surrounds the whole of Helheim, cannot be crossed. Not even gods who have come to Helheim can get out of there. Those who die of age or of disease, or have not died in battle, come to Helheim  
> ______________________________
> 
> Just written down, makes sense in my head and now published so please have that in mind ^^',  
> But other than that, please enjoy :)
> 
> This is hastily written (I have art and writers block)  
> English not my first language  
> Not beta read, I'm just writing for fun.

Eivor startled awake with a “Vili'' rushing out of his mouth and he sat in a rush- frenzy eyes searching the surroundings still affected by the nightmare. He must’ve fallen asleep and the thought left Eivor with a heavy weight of guilt, his mind coming up with every worst case scenario what could’ve happened while being asleep.

His harsh breathing and hitching breath calmed when a hand pushed weakly at his chest- indicated to him to lay down again- and Eivor quickly turned and lowered his gaze, hoping to see his prayers being blessed by the gods. 

A wet chuckle left Eivor’s lips, eyes glazing over by the sight of the man lying next to him- looking up with hooded eyes. Eivor wasted no time but threw himself over Vili, holding him close as Eivor kissed at whatever skin his lips reached- cheek to forehead to temple to cheek again- over and over again.

“I feel like death itself” Vili whispered when Eivor calmed down to just hugging him- nose buried into Vili’s neck- and Vili’s arms trembled against Eivor’s back by still being affected by the cold. 

Eivor made a muffled hum, then said softly “But you are alive”, his breath tickling Vili.

“That I am” Vili murmured and one of his hands traveled along Eivor’s back to the back of his head, where fingers dug themselves into the blonde hair, gripping tightly- like being afraid of Eivor moving away from him.

A rumble disturbed their comfortable silence -them still holding each other- and Eivor smiled against Vili’s neck at the sound coming from Vili’s stomach. He moved to get the food he’d brought, but Vili’s hold on him tightened.

“You are hungry” Eivor chuckled at Vili’s behavior when he felt the beard brush against his clean shaved cheek- reminding him of a cat.

“It can wait” Vili’s voice sounded stronger- no longer just a whisper- which calmed Eivor’s worried heart. The beard continued brushing at Eivor’s cheek “I want this moment to last longer”.

Eivor stilled, then tried to find the courage to sound confident “Who said this was the only time doing this, but without the ‘close to death’ thing, of course” but it came out as nervous as he was- not knowing Vili’s reaction to the words and their meaning. He could feel the sudden tension in Vili’s muscles.

“You and me being bare naked? Holding each other?” and something in Vili’s voice made Eivor lean back his head to look into those deep blue eyes, noticing they held the same nervousness as his own. “Being more than the last time?”.

A rush of memories seized Eivor’s mind and his breath hitched by the desire he’d held at that time. Lips touching for the first time, breaths colliding. _Sure you’re not going to regret this? Shut up, Arse-stick._ Tongues brushing against each other, hands pulling at clothes. _What is this fucking armor?! Having a hard time? Shut up, Eivor!_ Touches making skin burn with desire, a heat none of them ever felt before. _You like when I touch you here, Goldie hair? Do you always talk dirty? You like it? Yeah, yeah I do._ But then the memories came to the end, and the reason why Eivor never had tried anything since then. 

Eivor broke the trance where blue met blue and his gaze found the fireplace. Thoughts overwhelmed his head with the memories of the last words told between Vili and him when they’d spent that time together- desire now long gone cold. 

“Let me get you some food” Eivor distracted himself by unfurling from Vili’s arms and crawling to the leather pouch. Vili’s gaze burned at his back as Eivor grabbed some meat and bread “I only have a little, but I’m not hungry so you can have it” it was a ramble he couldn’t stop “Without the crew I wouldn’t even have this, but I am lucky to have them”.

When Eivor turned around his voice quietened down, Vili’s eyes were still locked on him- leaning up at his elbow, cloaks resting at his waist- looking like he was searching for something within Eivor. Then with a moment of silence, Vili then raised the cloak for Eivor to join him and with just a second of hesitation Eivor did. 

To others Eivor was a bloodthirsty heathen, a fearless leader, someone not from this world, and with Vili he was all that. Asking Vili to join the Raven Clan was the best decision he’d ever made- he felt it deep inside his heart- because since joining Eivor had found a strength he never knew he had. 

But with time and new experiences influencing, Eivor had gotten another understanding- the longer they spent time together. That seeing, hearing or just being near him, Eivor also was the weakest there is.

***

The comfortable silence was long gone. Instead their eyes didn’t meet, words was left unsaid, while Vili slowly refilled his body with the meat and bread Eivor brought him. Their shoulders brushed each time Vili raised his arm to put food into his mouth- them sitting with backs against the wall and cloaks resting on their lower body- but still being cautious about leaving Vili for too long without heat from his body, Eivor didn’t let the instinct of fleeing to overcome. 

Some dried meat was suddenly thrust into Eivor’s face -pushing away thoughts spreading darkness- and he stared at it for a second, then glanced at Vili whose eyes once again seeked something in Eivor.

“What do you mean with this?” came toneless from his lips and Eivor focused on his hands resting on his bent knees, ignoring the meat- evaded when Vili pushed it towards him over and over- until he gave up. 

The depths of Helheim seemed to be visiting Eivor, causing his mind to only see things in a dark shade. It was the emotions which drove him to find Vili, to hold him close when the prayers Eivor made had been blessed, but now when his mind was aware- thoughts back in place- his heart and gut was taking a thrashing. He knew he no longer was the Eivor departing to England, his thoughts made that one clear, but his heart struggled to keep peace with it. Especially when it came to Vili. Each time Vili came to mind, his head was either emptied or thoughts ran like the speed of Sleipner- which is the understanding that had reached him some time ago. And as soon as he lost control, his heart flooded his chest with emotions. But, a lot of those times Eivor had the strength to push them away.

“You let your thoughts rule too much” Vili’s voice brought Eivor back from the dark nothingness where Odin before stood.

Eivor snorted “That is something Styrbjorn should hear” thinking about his former King who’d- since childhood- told him he never thought before acting.

Vili nodded “You did, but you’ve changed.” something in his tone when saying the last words -whispering carefully- forced Eivor’s eyes to his, but Vili was now the one with a gaze focused on his hands in his lap “Before, you were wild, letting your emotions lead you. I am not saying that is the right way, because I had to be the one holding you back. But now,“ Vili suddenly met Eivor with a softness on his face “I see your struggles, the battle between your heart and your thoughts. I saw the change in your eyes, now, when we held each other. I saw when your thoughts caught up with your emotions, and I just wish-”

“I am sorry to not be the one you used to know” Eivor cut off- no longer meeting Vili’s eyes- before Vili even finished his sentence, because Eivor’s thoughts did it in his stead and Eivor didn’t have the strength in his body to hear those words in Vili’s voice.

A deep sigh left the bigger vikingr. In the corner of his eye, Eivor noticed a lot of emotions painting themselves on Vili's face, but they went by too quickly to comprehend. In the end, Vili was left with brown tufts of hair sticking in different direction from pulling at it and an understanding that this wasn't the time. 

“You are my best friend, Eivor” The warmth of Vili was a welcoming one when he leaned closer to Eivor- big arm surrounding Eivor’s shoulders- and it felt at home to rest his head on Vili’s shoulder “And I care about you”.

“And you are mine” came as a whisper and Eivor found the closeness of Vili to ease his mind, a wave of comfort which gave him peace where before was darkness.

Eivor closed his eyes when the fatigued became too much- yawning big while settling in against Vili- and almost choked on the meat Vili suddenly forced into his mouth. A bellying laughter filled the small cave by the shocked face of Eivor. 

Almost now laying on the cave’s floor to flee Eivor’s burning gaze, Vili gasped “You look” pointing at the meat sticking out everywhere from Eivor’s mouth, but his eyes teared and words died by the laughter.

A muffled “Bacraut” was heard from the blonde vikingr who glared at his friend making fun of him. But, then the meat flew into the fire when he spat it out and a devious smile spread on his lips.

In revenge, Eivor grabbed a chunk of bread and attacked Vili whose face was still crinkled in laughter- arms slung over a stomach hurting from laughing too hard- which made it easier for Eivor to push the bread into his mouth. 

Their joint laughter echoed through the cramped place while wrestling to be the next one -the winning one- to force the rest of the food into the other’s mouth. Neither noticing the calm blue sky, outside the wall made out of snow.


End file.
